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» Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE   » Community   » Bob Maar's Joke-A-Thon   » Miscellaneous - Part Three (Page 104)

 
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Author Topic: Miscellaneous - Part Three
Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


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 - posted 03-17-2008 03:18 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Smile] Lorraine

Can a piece of antique clothing be uncomfortable?

Of corset can. [Big Grin]

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
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 - posted 03-17-2008 03:19 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Smile] Lorraine

"Whatever dressing one gives to mushrooms, to whatever sauces our Apiciuses put them, they are not really good but to be sent back to the dungheap where they are born."

Denis Diderot...1713-1784

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
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 - posted 03-17-2008 03:21 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Smile] Lorraine

"At a dinner-party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely."

W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965), A Writer's Notebook (1949)

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


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From: New York City & Newport, RI
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 - posted 03-17-2008 03:23 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G Lorraine

Excellence can be obtained if you:

...care more than others think is wise;

...risk more than others think is safe;

...dream more than others think is practical;

...expect more than others think is possible. [Big Grin]

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
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 - posted 03-20-2008 05:36 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Smile] Lorraine

Virgin Records founder Richard Branson, famed for his love of adventure, once offered a word of advice to fellow thrill- seekers:

"If you're embarking around the world in a hot-air balloon, don't forget the toilet paper. Once, we had to wait for incoming faxes."

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


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From: New York City & Newport, RI
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 - posted 03-21-2008 10:55 AM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Smile] Lorraine

There was a young lady one fall

Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.

The dress caught fire

And burned her entire

Front page, sporting section and all. [Big Grin]

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


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 - posted 03-21-2008 11:00 AM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Smile] B.B.

*City Kids Camping*


Two boys from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce the boys had to hide under their blankets to keep from being bitten.

Then one of them saw some lightning bugs, and said to his friend: "we might as well give up, they're coming at us with flashlights!" [Big Grin]

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


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 - posted 03-21-2008 11:03 AM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Smile] Rani Andrew

1. The Garden of Eden was in Iraq

2. Mesopotamia, which is now Iraq , was the cradle of civilization!

3. Noah built the ark in Iraq

4. The Tower of Babel was in Iraq

5. Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern Iraq !

6. Isaac's wife Rebekah is from Nahor, which is in Iraq !

7. Jacob met Rachel in Iraq

8. Jonah preached in Nineveh - which is in Iraq

9. Assyria, which is in Iraq, conquered the ten tribes of Israel

10. Amos cried out in Iraq !

11 Babylon , which is in Iraq , destroyed Jerusalem

12. Daniel was in the lion's den in Iraq !

13. The three Hebrew children were in the fire in Iraq (Jesus had been in Iraq also as the fourth person in the Fiery Furnace!)

14. Belshazzar, the King of Babylon saw the 'writing on the wall' in Iraq

15. Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, carried the Jews captive into Iraq

16. Ezekiel preached in Iraq

The names used in the Bible are Babylon , Land of Shinar , and Mesopotamia . The word Mesopotamia means between the two rivers, more exactly between the Tigris And Euphrates Rivers . The name Iraq , means country with deep roots. Indeed Iraq is a country with deep roots and is a very significant country in the Bible.

No other nation, except Israel, has more history and prophecy associated with it than Iraq. [beer]

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


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 - posted 03-22-2008 09:05 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Smile] Lorraine

In September 1784, Charles Fox accompanied his brother to Moorfields in London to witness the famed Lunardi make an ascent in a hot-air balloon. While standing in a large crowd, Fox felt a foreign hand in his pocket - and quickly turned and grabbed the would-be pickpocket by the wrist.

"You have chosen an occupation," he angrily declared, "which will bring you to utter ruin, my friend." When the thief begged for mercy, explaining that his wife was starving and his children were ill, Fox gave him a guinea but cautioned him he mend his ways.

When, some time later, Fox discovered that his watch had disappeared, his brother explained that his "friend" had taken it. "You saw him take it, and yet you made no move to stop him!?" Fox cried, incredulous. "Well," his brother replied, "you appeared to be on such good terms with each other that I did not choose to interfere." [Big Grin]

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


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From: New York City & Newport, RI
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 - posted 03-22-2008 09:10 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Smile] B.B.

What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The others are weekdays. [Big Grin]

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


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From: New York City & Newport, RI
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 - posted 03-22-2008 09:11 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Smile] cutie pa2ti

"I think that if you're not playing the game, and you don't own the team, you can only be so passionate--unless you've got gambling debts."

Dave Chappelle~

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


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From: New York City & Newport, RI
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 - posted 03-24-2008 08:52 AM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Smile] B.B.

Give a bag full of jelly beans...Colorful and sweet Tell them it's a prayer It's a promise ...It's an Easter Treat !

~Charlene Dickson

THE JELLY BEAN PRAYER


RED is for the blood He shed

GREEN for growing til the end

BLACK is for the sin He bore

YELLOW is for the sun so bright

ORANGE is for the joy of life

WHITE is for His grace for all

PURPLE is for His robe of sorrow

PINK is for a new tomorrow

SENDING JOYOUS WISHES FOR A BLESSED EASTER

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


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From: New York City & Newport, RI
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 - posted 03-24-2008 12:21 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Smile] B.B.

Did you hear about the crossword puzzle addict who died and was buried six feet down and three across? [Big Grin]

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


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From: New York City & Newport, RI
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 - posted 03-25-2008 08:53 AM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Eek!] B.B.

Question:
What's the easist way to count a herd of cattle?

Answer: Use a cowculator. [Big Grin]

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
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 - posted 03-26-2008 03:53 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Smile] cutie pa2ti

What's the difference between an accordion and an onion?

No one cries when you cut up an accordion. [Big Grin]

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