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Author Topic: Miscellaneous - Part Three Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-25-2006 08:02 AM                        Rated G Quirk There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year!  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-25-2006 12:14 PM                        Rated G Lorraine "When you've seen a nude infant doing a backward somersault you know why clothing exists." --Stephen Fry  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-25-2006 02:53 PM                        Rated G Gerry Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. You'll be happy to know that when I gave this speech to my secretary to be typed, I asked her to eliminate all that was on the dull side. So, in conclusion....  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-26-2006 07:10 AM                        Rated G Lorraine In 1802, Timothy Dexter published a twenty-four page pamphlet (entitled "A Pickle for the Knowing Ones") entirely devoid of periods, commas, and other punctuation. In subsequent editions, in deference to demanding readers, Dexter agreed to add some punctuation. There was, however, a small catch: rather than disperse punctuation throughout the text, the author had simply added an extra page containing nothing but punctuation, preceded by a short message: "the nowing ones complane of my book the fust edition had no stops I put in a nuf here and thay may peper and solt it as they please"!  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-26-2006 07:12 AM                        Rated G Maggie Gossip is like mud thrown at a clean wall. It might not stick, but it always leaves a dirty mark.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-26-2006 11:43 AM                        Rated G A study says motorists on cell phone are more stressed than motorists not on cell phones. This raises an important sociological question. There are motorists not on cell phones?  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-27-2006 10:27 AM                        Rated G Lorraine A prison inmate had his prosthetic leg confiscated after he used it in a brawl with another prisoner. When the inmate found out the authorities were taking away his leg, he was hopping mad.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-27-2006 01:55 PM                        Rated G Lorraine If you jog in a jogging suit, lounge in lounging pajamas, and smoke in a smoking jacket, WHY would anyone want to wear a windbreaker?  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-27-2006 01:57 PM                        Rated G Lorraine Remember one thing--- Though the 'B' in debt is silent It supplies the sting.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-27-2006 01:59 PM                        Rated G Lorraine The cost of feathers has risen... Now even down is up!  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-27-2006 02:16 PM                        Rated G Andrew Columbus traveled around the world at public expense and they called him an explorer. Today they would call him a congressman.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-27-2006 02:18 PM                        Rated G Gerry Remember, the famous response as to why something was done, because it was there, was meant for mountain climbing, not eating.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-27-2006 02:39 PM                        Rated G Spaz The Joy of almonds Almonds have as much protein per ounce as red meat. Adding almonds into your diet has shown to help reduce the risk of heart attacks by as much as 50%. This result is due to the good-for- your-heart vitamin E found in almonds. Monounsaturated fats can decrease your bad LDL cholesterol levels and increase your good HDL cholesterol levels. Antioxidants help keep your arteries young.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-27-2006 02:44 PM                        Rated G Lorraine The stock market has gotten so bad that you can actually hear the Dow Jones, Standard & Poor and the NASDAQ crying. They are calling this phenomenon the "Three Market Tears".  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-27-2006 02:48 PM                        Rated G Cutie pa2ti Q: How many American astronauts have walked on the moon? A: Twelve, between July 1969 and December 1972. In order of their lunar visits: Neil Armstrong, Edwin Aldrin, Charles Conrad, Alan Bean, Alan Shepard, Edgar Mitchell, David Scott, James Irwin, John Young, Charles Duke, Eugene Cernan and Harrison Schmitt.  |  IP: Logged

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