A young man in Turkey is living in his one bedroom flat with his two wives when a friend of his comes to stay for the night.

The man asks his wives to prepare a bed for his friend for the night and they all go to sleep.

After a time, the man's first wife says to him, "Let's make love!"

The man replies, "But, my friend is sleeping in the bed right next to us!"

The first wife says, "I'll go and open up the refrigerator and get a glass of water. If your friend doesn't stir, then we'll know it is safe to have sex."

So the first wife gets up and gets a glass of water. After making a bit of noise, the friend doesn't seem to notice.

They have sex.

After a time, the man's second wife says, "Now it's my turn!"

The man replies, "Ah, but my friend will surely awake this time!"

The wife says, "I'll go get another glass of water from the refrigerator.If he wakes up, we'll know it isn't safe."

The second wife gets up and gets a glass of water. After making a bit of noise, the friend still doesn't stir.

They have sex.

In the morning, the man asks his friend "Did you sleep well last night?" The friend responds, "Yes, thank you. I was a little bit thirsty though..."

The man offers, "Oh, you could have gotten a glass of water out of the refrigerator."

One day, good news circulated around the testicle.

Apparently,the host and his wife had been talking about having kids.

Well,one young sperm decided that he would be the first one to the egg, so he immediately began a rigorous exercise program to get in prime condition for the upcoming race. He practiced for hours a day, and soon had broken the record for laps around the seminal vesicle.

Then, one day it was time to line up for the big race to the egg. All the sperm lined up in the vas deferens, and the eager sperm forced his way to the front of the pack.

The go ahead was given to start the race, and the marathon sperm shot far ahead of all the rest.

The others had just lost sight of him when he suddenly turned around and started swimming upstream as fast as he could.

As the others passed him they shouted "What's wrong?"

"Say," said the smooth operator in a confidential tone to the host of the party, "there's a lot of hot babes at this party.

If I find one that's ready to grab a quick one, would you mind if I use your extra bedroom?"

"What about your wife?""Oh, I won't be gone for a long time. She will never even miss me."

A man is in a hotel lobby and wants to ask the clerk a question.

As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and his elbow pokes her in the breast.

They are both quite startled.The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.

Good: Your children are sexually active.
Bad: With each other
Worse: And your wife.

Good: Hot outdoor sex.
Bad: Getting arrested.
Worse: By your husband

Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.
Worse: The teacher is a he.

There was once a stockbroker who had made a ton of money off the stock market and decided to retire to a ranch in Montana.

One day he was out in his front yard planting some flowers when he sees dirt flying up behind a truck.

The truck pulls into his driveway and a famer gets out of his truck.

"Hi, my name is George. I'm your neighbor. I live about five miles away and I came to invite you to a party I am having tonight."

"What kind of a party is it?" asks the stockbroker.

"Oh, we're going to do a little dancing, a little fighting, a little eating, little drinking, and a little screwing."

"That sounds great,' said the stockbroker. "What should I wear?"

Well, my dad was having "that" conversation with me when I was about 12 or 13.

He said that if you masturbate you'll go blind.

A man brings his wife a glass of water and two aspirins.

She looks surprised and says, I don't have a headache!"

Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?

My sex life is so bad ...

The Texas teeny-bopper told a classmate, "I'll let you do it for $20 -- $10 to put it in and $10 to take it out."

The boy quickly agreed.

The couple went into the woods, and the young thang slipped off her panties and laid back.

The boy slipped in his erection and handed her a $10 bill. And then, when he was finished, he handed her another $10 and she released him.

The next week, he requested her again, and she agreed.

This time, he handed her the $10 then, when he had finished, he just lay there.

After about 10 minutes, she said "OK, Billy! Take it out now."

Three college roommates -- two females and a male -- began to argue after dinner about whose turn it was to do the dishes.

"All right," one of the girls said, "the first one to speak has to do them."

The trio retired to the living room to watch TV.

When their neighbor, a school football star, came by, the three remained silent.

The visitor shrugged and led one of the girls into her bedroom.

Forty-five minutes later, the young man emerged and approached the second girl.

Through sign language, they agreed to adjourn to her bedroom.

When he came out, he began to fix himself a cup of tea but burned his fingers on the stove.

"Hey, where's some petroleum jelly?" he hollered from the kitchen.

A guy on a date parks and gets the girl in the back seat and they make love.

The girl wants it again and the guy obliges her.

She wants more and they do it again.

She still wants more and the guy says "Excuse me a minute, I have to relive myself."

While out of the car he notices a guy a half block away changing a flat.

He asks the guy "Look, I've got this gal in my car and I've given it to her four or five times and she still wants more.

I'll change your flat if you'll take over for me."

The guy does and is just getting in the high numbers when a cop knocks on the window and shines a light on them.

The cop asks "What're you doing in there?"

The guy says "I'm making love to my wife."

The cop asks "Why don't you do that at home?"

The guy answers"To tell you the truth, I didn't know it was my wife until you shined the light on her."

What's Smoreplay?

A young girl hadn't been feeling well, so she went to her family doctor.

The doctor ran some tests and then told her she was pregnant.

The girl said, "I can't be! The only men I've been around are nudists from my colony and we only practice sex with our eyes."