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Topic: Husbands & Wives
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Bernard Tonks
Jedi Master Film Handler
Posts: 619
From: Cranleigh, Surrey, England
Registered: Apr 2001
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posted 03-31-2006 06:39 PM
Rated G ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Helping the Ageing Housewife
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Julie. When I took "early retirement" last year, it became necessary for Julie to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she gets home from work.
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door.
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of ageing is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or > worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the lawn. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Julie. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your ageing wife because
of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.....
Signed,
Ron.
EDITOR'S NOTE: Ron died suddenly on May 27th. The police report says that he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club rammed up his arse, with only 2 inches of grip showing. His wife Julie was arrested and charged with murder; however, the all-woman jury found her Not Guilty, accepting her defence that he accidentally sat down on it very suddenly.
[ 04-01-2006, 07:27 AM: Message edited by: Bernard Tonks ]
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 05-09-2006 09:40 AM
Rated PG Ed in Aurora
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
A woman came home,screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into thehouse.She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs,"Honey,pack your bags.I won the damn lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! Whatshould I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 06-03-2006 04:21 PM
Rated PG
A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.
She protested,"But we don't know anything about each other."
He replied,"That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go along."
So she consented, and they were married,and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.
One morning,they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel,climbed up to the 10-meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer,entering the water perfectly,almost without a ripple.
This as followed by a three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife.
After a few more demonstrations,he came back and laid down on his towel.
She said,"That was incredible!" He said,"I used to be an Olympic diving champion.You see,I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along."
So she got up,jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end of the pool.
She did laps in freestyle, breaststroke, even butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes,she climbed back out and lay down on her towel,barely breathing hard.
He said,"That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"
"No",she said,"I was a hooker in Halifax and I worked both sides of the harbour."
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