A pregnant woman went to the gynecologist, and when asked what was the problem, she responded, "Well, whenever I take off my clothes, my nipples get hard."

Shocked, the doctor took a deep breath, then asked,"Your nipples get hard?"

"Yes," quite innocently came her reply.

"Undress so I can check," replied the still amazed doc.

So, she undressed, and he got down to the feeling and massaging, trying to reach an answer.

A gynecologist and a anatomico-pathologist return from a hospital after a night shift.

There is a nice spring morning, flowers bloom, girls walk by etc.

Both guys enjoy it after long boring work.

The anatomico-pathologist says, "Oh, People around.You see, live people."

They have finally released the ingredients in Viagra!!

3% Vitamin E

2% Aspirin

2% Ibuprofen1% Vitamin C

5% Spray Starch

88% Fix-A-Flat Enjoy a great night!!!

An elderly woman went into the doctor's office.

When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills."

Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?"

The woman responded, "They help me sleep better."

The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?"

An Arkansas hillbilly is suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribes suppositories.

After a week, the hillbilly returns to the doctor's office, complaining that the medicine hasn't done him a bit of good.

"Have you been taking them regularly?" the doctor asks.

Arriving for her artificial insemination, Mrs. Aldiss was surprised when the attendant locked the door behind them and began taking off his clothes.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" she demanded.

Researchers released a list of foods and activities to help combat osteoporosis, the dread disorder that leaches calcium from the bones as people age.

The distinguished lead scientist mounts the podium to make his announcement and gives the highlights of the list. To no one's surprise, broccoli and cauliflower are there, and the researchers also encourage regular exercise, such as walking, running, cycling or swimming to prevent calcium loss from the bones.

But, one reporter, reading ahead, shouts from the front row, "You've got kissing on the list as a way to prevent osteoporosis! There isn't any calcium in a kiss!"

Man goes to a vasectomy clinic.

Nurse preps him, in comes a very young, very nervous intern. He begins the procedure, slips with the scalpel and the mans nuts roll out on the floor.

"Oh my gawd" says the intern. "What'll we do now"?

"No problem" says the nurse and hurries out to return shortly with two small onions.

"Sew him up" she orders.

The intern does so.

They revive the man and send him opn his way with instructions to return for a follow-up in 6 weeks.

The man returns 6 weeks later and the intern looks him over with a wary eye.

"How's everything going"? he asks.

"Ya know doc, some very strange things have been happening".

"Like what"?

Health Info The long term implications of modern drugs must be fully considered:

Because over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra than is spent on Alzheimer's Disease research.

A guy walks into a clinic to have his blood type taken.

The nurse goes about taking the blood sample from his finger after finishing she looks around for a piece of cotton to wipe away the excess blood. she can't find it so she looks innocently at the guy and takes his finger and sucks it.

A young woman was suffering badly from hay fever. She was going to a fancy dinner party that night and figured she would need at least two handkerchiefs to get her through the evening. She didn't have any pockets, so she stuffed them both in her bra.

Halfway through the night, she had already used up one handkerchief and was rummaging around in her bra for the other one. She was having trouble finding it, and soon she noticed that everyone at the table was looking at her.

"What on earth are you doing?" asked one of her colleagues.

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist,"You are far too upset and worried about your son.I am going to give you a prescription for some tranquillizers that I want you to start taking regularly."

On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquillizers calmed you down any?"

"Oh, Yes", the mother answered.

"They do wonders for me."

"And how is your son now?" the psychiatrist asked.

Emerging from the chiropractor's treatment room, a young man said aloud in the crowded waiting room, "I feel like a new man!"

This man got his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to get ready for when his wife gets home.

He calls her on the phone, and says, "I'll be home in an hour.""Perfect," she replies.

The man thinks her agreement is because the Doctor told him to take his Viagra an hour before. He takes the Viagra and waits. Well, and hour goes by, the man is ready to go, but no wife?

She calls him on the phone and she says, "Traffic is terrible. I won't be there for about an hour and a half."

The man, frustrated, calls his Doctor for advice. "What should I do?" he asks.

The Doctor replied, "It would be a shame to waste it. Do you have a housekeeper around?"

"Yes" the man replied."

Well, may be you can occupy yourself with her instead?" said the Doctor.

As paramedics, my partner and I were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. We decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation.

En route, with siren going, I questioned the man to determine his level of awareness.

Leaning close, I asked, "Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?"