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Author
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Topic: Business
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 05-22-2003 09:32 PM
Rated G ![[Smile]](smile.gif) Lorraine
SUITE REVENGE:
Phone won't stop ringing? Here's what you do...
Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn.,had a serious telephone problem. But unlike most people she did something about it.
The $10 million Ribrock Plaza Motel opened nearby and had acquired almost the same telephone number as Leola.
From the moment the motel opened,Leola was besieged by calls not
for her.Since she had the same phone number for years,she felt
that she had a case to persuade the motel management to change its number.
Naturally,the management refused claiming that it could not
change its stationery.
The phone company was not helpful, either.A number was a number,
and just because a customer was getting someone else's calls 24
hours a day didn't make it responsible.After her pleas fell on
deaf ears,Leola decided to take matters into her own hands.
At 9 o'clock the phone rang.Someone from Memphis was calling the
motel and asked for a room for the following Tuesday.Leoloa
said,"No problem.How many nights?"
A few hours later Dallas checked in.A secretary wanted a suite
with two bedrooms for a week.Emboldened,Leola said the
Presidential Suite on the 10th floor was available for $600 a
night.The secretary said that she would take it and asked if the
hotel wanted a deposit."No,that won't be necessary," Leola
said."We trust you."
The next day was a busy one for Leola.In the morning,she booked
an electric appliance manufacturers' convention for Memorial Day
weekend, a college prom and a reunion of the 82nd Airborne
veterans from World War II.
Her biggest challenge came in the afternoon when a mother called
to book the ballroom for her daughter's wedding in June.
Leola assured the woman that it would be no problem and asked if
she would be providing the flowers or did she want the hotel to
take care of it.The mother said that she would prefer the hotel
to handle the floral arrangements.Then the question of valet
parking came up.
Once again Leola was helpful."There's no charge for valet
parking,but we always recomend that the client tips the drivers."
Within a few months,the Ribrock Plaza Motel was a disaster area.
People kept showing up for weddings,bar mitzvahs,and Sweet
Sixteen parties and were all told there were no such events.
Leola had her final revenge when she read in the local paper that the motel might go bankrupt.Her phone rang,and an executive from Marriott said, "We're prepared to offer you $200,000 for the motel."
Leola replied. "We'll take it, but only if you change the
telephone number." ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 05-31-2003 11:52 PM
Rated G ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
Dear Architect,
Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion. My house should have somewhere between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.
Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).
As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminium, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminium, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)
Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that the kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.
To ensure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year.
Make sure that you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.
Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the house: get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet. However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.
Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours.
While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like the features this house has. I advise you to run up and look at my neighbour's house constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like in our new home, particularly the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house without impacting the final cost.
Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes.
You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very often.
Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.
PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect.
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 06-01-2003 06:48 AM
Rated G
I work in a department that is supported by grants.On his first
day,my new Boss delivered some bad news. He said, "Unfortunately
your last Boss failed to apply for the grant that supports your
work. You will be terminated at the end of this month. Did you
know that?"
Admittedly, I was unprepared for this, but I was not shocked.
Two weeks before the end of my tenure,the new Boss came to me. He said, "Before you go,please submit the lesson plans you would have used for the next three months."
I said,"Oh, I'm sorry,those lesson plans were covered in the
grant.Didn't you know that?" ![[thumbsup]](graemlins/thumbsup.gif)
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