|
|
 
|
|
Author
|
Topic: Golf
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tim Reed
Better Projection Pays
Posts: 5246
From: Northampton, PA
Registered: Sep 1999
|
posted 01-19-2008 02:42 AM
O'Brian loved to play golf and would go out alone to a course and
get paired up with any group that needed a fourth. One day he
went to his favorite course and the pro said, "I'm sorry O'Brian,
but the only group I can put you with is one with three Hassidic
rabbis."
O'Brian says, "That's fine with me."
He joins the group and tees off. His shot is about 200 yards out
and off to the right rough. Reb Moshe tees off 300 yards straight
out into the middle of the fairway. Reb Yitzchak's shot is about
290 and Reb Yaacov's is 300, but slightly off center. O'Brian has
trouble getting out of the rough and four-putts, while the rabbis'
approach shots are right on the pin, and each two-putts for par.
The rest of the round is the same, with the rabbi's scores either
par or under par, while O'Brian has a 95. He says to them, "You
guys must play and practice all the time."
Reb Yitzchak says, "No, we study all the time and only play once
a week. But, on our Sabbath, while we are in shul, we say a prayer
asking God to give us one good round of golf each week."
O'Brian is so impressed that he goes home and tells his wife that
they are converting. They study, convert, join a shul, and go to
services every Shabbat.
About a year later, O'Brian runs into the threesome of rabbis at
the same course and they invite him to play with them. The game is
exactly like last year's. O'Brian is doing nothing right, and the
three are perfect.
At the end, O'Brian says to the rabbis, "I don't understand it. I
converted, I joined a shul, pray every week."
Rabbi Moshe says, "You joined a shul? Which one?"
O'Brian says, "Beth Shalom."
Rabbi Moshe says, "No, no, no! Beth Shalom is for TENNIS!"
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tim Reed
Better Projection Pays
Posts: 5246
From: Northampton, PA
Registered: Sep 1999
|
posted 01-19-2008 02:44 AM
Truisms Of Golf.....
When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice that it's a
lot easier to get up at 600 A.M to play golf than at 1000 to mow
the yard?
Golf is, far and away, the ultimate love/hate relationship.
Sometimes it seems as though your cup moveth over.
It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery. On
the other hand, you seldom get to ride around on a cart, drink
beer and eat hot dogs while performing brain surgery.
A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving
up the game.
Water hazards are no walk in the park for fish, turtles and frogs,
either.
Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end
up praying a bunch.
A good golf partner is one who's always just slightly worse than
you are.
That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty
about skipping out on lawn work.
If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your
life. Trust me!
Golf balls are like eggs. They're white, sold by the dozen, and a
week later you have to buy more.
A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the
income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.
It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house
will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand
traps.
If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or
a seven, he probably shot an eight.
You probably wouldn't look good in a green jacket anyway! A
sweatshirt will do just fine.
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tim Reed
Better Projection Pays
Posts: 5246
From: Northampton, PA
Registered: Sep 1999
|
posted 01-19-2008 02:46 AM
An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a checkup and the
doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor
asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?"
The old timer said, "I'm a golfer and that's why I'm in such good
shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down
the fairways."
The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be
more to it. How old was your dad when he died?"
The old timer said, "Who said my dad's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still
alive? How old is he?"
The old timer said, "He's 100 yrs old and, in fact, he golfed with
me this morning, and that's why he's still alive, he's a golfer."
The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more
to it. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"
The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your
grandfather's still living? How old is he?"
The old timer said, "He's 118 yrs old."
The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess
he went golfing with you this morning too?"
The old timer said, "No. Grandpa couldn't go this morning because
he got married."
The Doctor said in amazement, "Got married?! Why would a 118-year-
old guy want to get married?"
The old timer said, "Who said he wanted to?"
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classicTM
6.3.1.2
The Film-Tech Forums are designed for various members related to the cinema industry to express their opinions, viewpoints and testimonials on various products, services and events based upon speculation, personal knowledge and factual information through use, therefore all views represented here allow no liability upon the publishers of this web site and the owners of said views assume no liability for any ill will resulting from these postings. The posts made here are for educational as well as entertainment purposes and as such anyone viewing this portion of the website must accept these views as statements of the author of that opinion
and agrees to release the authors from any and all liability.
|
Home
Printer-friendly view of this topic