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Author
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Topic: Political Humor
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 04-14-2005 05:11 PM
Rated G ![[Eek!]](eek.gif) B.B.
TAXES. . . (They're Everywhere!!)
Accounts Receivable Tax,
Building Permit Tax,
Capital Gains Tax,
CDL License Tax,
Cigarette Tax,
Corporate Income Tax,
Court Fines (indirect taxes),
Dog License Tax,
Federal Income Tax,
Federal Unemployment Tax,
Film-Tech Tax = 1% of all taxes ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Fishing License Tax.
Food License Tax,
Fuel permit tax,
Gasoline Tax,
Hunting License Tax,
Inheritance Tax,
Interest Expense,
Inventory Tax IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax),
IRS Penalties(tax on top of tax),
Liquor Tax,
Local Income Tax,
Luxury Taxes,
Marriage License Tax,
Medicare Tax,
Property Tax,
Real Estate Tax,
Septic Permit Tax,
Service Charge Taxes,
Social Security Tax,
Road Usage Taxes,
(Truckers),
Sales Taxes,
Recreational Vehicle Tax,
Road Toll Booth Taxes,
School Tax,
State Income Tax,
State Unemployment Tax,
Telephone Federal Excise Tax,
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax,
Telephone Federal, State, and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax,
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax,
Telephone Usage Charge tax,
Toll Bridge Tax,
Toll Tunnel Tax,
Traffic Fines (indirect taxation),
Trailer Registration Tax,
Utility Taxes,
Vehicle License Registration Tax,
Vehicle Sales Tax,
Watercraft Registration Tax,
Well Permit Tax,
Workers Compensation Tax...
Whew!! Did you know, not one one of these taxes existed 100 year ago? Also, our nation was the most properous in the world, had essentially no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise all the kids!
What the heck happened?? (Greed?) ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 05-11-2005 01:24 PM
Rated X Ed in Aurora, Ont. Ca
OSAMA & THE GENIE
While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a Bottle on a beach and picked it up.
Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and with a smile
said "Master, may I grant you one wish?"
"You ignorant unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you know who I am? I don't need any common woman giving me anything" barked Bin Laden.
The shocked genie said "Please,I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever."
Osama thought a moment. Then grumbled about the impertinence
of the woman, and said "Very well,I want to awaken with three
American women in my bed in the morning,so just do it and be
off with you !"
The annoyed genie said, "So be it!" and disappeared.
The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt,
Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton.
His penis was gone, his knees were broken, and he had no health insurance.
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 06-10-2005 03:51 PM
Rated G
I received a copy of this letter. I thought I would share it with all of my fellow film-tecker's.
This is not a joke.
This Letter of Apology was written by Lieutenant General Chuck Pitman, US Marine Corps, Retired:
"For good and ill, the Iraqi prisoner abuse mess will remain an issue. On the one hand, right thinking Americans will abhor the stupidity of the actions while on the other hand, political glee will take control and fashion this minor event into some modern day massacre.
I humbly offer my opinion here:
I am sorry that the last seven times we Americans took up arms and sacrificed the blood of our youth, it was in the defense of Muslims ( Bosnia , Kosovo, Gulf War 1, Kuwait , etc.).
I am sorry that no such call for an apology upon the extremists came after 9/11.
I am sorry that all of the murderers on 9/11 were Islamic Arabs.
I am sorry that most Arabs and Muslims have to live in squalor under savage dictatorships.
I am sorry that their leaders squander their wealth.
I am sorry that their governments breed hate for the US in their religious schools, mosques, and government-controlled media.
I am sorry that Yassar Arafat was kicked out of every Arab country and high-jacked the Palestinian "cause."
I am sorry that no other Arab country will take in or offer more than a token amount of financial help to those same Palestinians.
I am sorry that the USA has to step in and be the biggest financial supporter of poverty stricken Arabs while the insanely wealthy Arabs blame the USA for all their problems.
I am sorry that our own left wing, our media, and our own brainwashed masses do not understand any of this (from the misleading vocal elements of our society like radical professors, CNN and the NY TIMES).
I am sorry the United Nations scammed the poor people of Iraq out of the "food for oil" money so they could get rich while the common folk suffered.
I am sorry that some Arab governments pay the families of homicide bombers upon their death.
I am sorry that those same bombers are brainwashed thinking they will receive 72 virgins in "paradise."
I am sorry that the homicide bombers think pregnant women, babies, children, the elderly and other noncombatant civilians are legitimate targets.
I am sorry that our troops die to free more Arabs from the gang rape rooms and the filling of mass graves of dissidents of their own making.
I am sorry that Muslim extremists have killed more Arabs than any other group.
I am sorry that foreign trained terrorists are trying to seize control of Iraq and return it to a terrorist state.
I am sorry we don't drop a few dozen Daisy cutters on Fallujah.
I am sorry every time terrorists hide they find a convenient "Holy Site."
I am sorry they didn't apologize for driving a jet into the World Trade Center that collapsed and severely damaged Saint Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church - one of our Holy Sites.
I am sorry they didn't apologize for flight 93 and 175, the USS Cole, the embassy bombings, the murders and beheadings of Nick Berg and Daniel Pearl, etc....etc!
I am sorry Michael Moore is American; he could feed a medium sized village in Africa.
America will get past this latest absurdity. We will punish those responsible because that is what we do.
We hang out our dirty laundry for the entire world to see. We move on. That's one of the reasons we are hated so much. We don't hide this stuff like all those Arab countries that are now demanding an apology.
Deep down inside, when most Americans saw this reported in the news, we were like - so what? We lost hundreds and made fun of a few prisoners. Sure, it was wrong, sure, it dramatically hurts our cause, but until captured we were trying to kill these same prisoners. Now we're supposed to wring our hands because a few were humiliated?
Our compassion is tempered with the vivid memories of our own people killed, mutilated and burnt amongst a joyous crowd of celebrating Fallujahans.
If you want an apology from this American, you're going to have a long wait!
You have a better chance of finding those seventy-two virgins.
Chuck Pitman Lieutenant General, USMC (Ret)
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