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Topic: Miscellaneous - Part Two
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 12-31-2003 03:45 AM
Rated G ![[Smile]](smile.gif) Diane in Reno
Some New Questions to Ponder
Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Why doesn't toothpaste ever go rotten?
Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
How come when you first pull the drapery cord the drapes always move the wrong way?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner reach down pick it up examine it then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?
How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not then what was the purpose of the bath?
Considering all the lint you get in your dryer if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say 'Its all right'? It isn't all right, so why don't we say,'That hurt, you stupid idiot'?
What is the point of brick wallpaper?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?
Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened?
Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?
How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
If an optimist fell from a ten story building would he yell out to his friends 'All right so far' as he passed each floor?
Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb,but how well you bounce.
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For the political minded:
The next time you hear a politician use the words "billion" casually,think about whether you want that politician spending your tax money.
A billion is a difficult number to comprehend,but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into perspective in one of its releases:
A billion seconds ago, it was 1959.
A billion minutes ago, Jesus was alive.
A billion hours ago, our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate Washington spends it.
The Democrats are complaining on how long the war is taking but consider this:
It took less time to take Iraq than it took Janet Reno to take the Branch Davidian compound.That was a 51-day operation.
It took less time to find Saddam's sons in Iraq than it took Hillary Clinton to find the Rose Law Firm billing records.
It took less time for the 3rd Infantry Division and the Marines to destroy the Medina Republican Guard than it took Teddy Kennedy to call the police after his Oldsmobile sunk at Chappaquiddick.
It took less time to take Iraq than it took to count the votes in
Florida!!!!!!
Man our military is GREAT ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 01-04-2004 08:32 PM
Rated G ![[Eek!]](eek.gif) Ed on Aurora,Ont
One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend
Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ocean.It was a
romantic full moon,when Huan Cho said "Hey baby,let's play Weeweechu."
"Oh no,not now,lets look at the moon" said Jung Lee
"Oh,c'mon baby,let's you and I play Weeweechu.I love you and it's the perfect time," Huan Cho Begged.
"But I rather just hold your hand and watch the moon."
"Please Jung Lee,just once play Weeweechu with me."
Jung Lee looked at Huan Chi and said,"OK, we'll play Weeweechu."
Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....
"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,and a Happy New Year."
AND SO DO I! And shame on you, where did you think this was going????
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