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Topic: Husbands & Wives
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 12-11-2002 02:49 PM
Rated G ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Sarah was reading a newspaper while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing.
"Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."
"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.
Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not," he said.
"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."
"Season's more than half over," he said. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 12-19-2002 08:45 AM
Rated G
The husband got out of bed and went into the living roomto answer the phone.His wife could hear him say, "Hello?"Then he said, "Sure is." He hung up the receiver and went back to bed.
A minute later the phone rang again.The husband got out of bed and went into the other room and his wife could hear him say "Hello?" again and then he said,"Sure is." again.He hung up the receiver and went back to bed.
The wife asked who it was.The man said he didn't know.
A minute later the phone rang again.The husband got out of bed and went into the other room and his wife could hear him say, "Hello?" Then he said, "Sure is."He hung up the receiver and went back to bed.
The wife asked again about the caller.The man said he didn't know who it was.
The wife then asked, "Well,what did the person say? He said,"It's odd,a woman just keeps saying, "Long distance from Chicago."
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 12-19-2002 09:40 AM
Rated PG ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
This old man in his eighty's got up from his chair and was putting
on his coat.
His wife said, "Where are you going?"
He said, "I'm going to the doctor."
She said, "Why, are you sick?"
"No" he said, "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."
So his wife got up out of her rocker and started putting on her coat and he said, "Where are you going?"
She said,"I'm going to the doctor too."He said,"Why?"
She said,"If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again,
I'm going to get a tetanus shot."
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 12-21-2002 09:15 AM
Rated G
When our dryer broke, my husband set to work. He found the problem quickly and, since he needed to replace the belt, decided to repair a cracked knob and a broken hinge too.
Upon arrival at the Sears parts counter, he said he needed a belt, knob, hinge, and a crescent-shaped wire he'd found inside the dryer. He didn't know where it belonged, but he confidently assured the clerk that he could figure it out once he got into the job.
"I have the other parts," the clerk said, "but for the you have to go to Lingerie. This is an underwire from your wife's bra."
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