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Author Topic: Husbands & Wives Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-25-2006 09:16 AM                        Rated G Food For Thought: Only two percent of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave their house while ninety eight percent of men kiss their house goodbye when they leave their wife.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-25-2006 09:19 AM                        Rated G Popo "Can you explain to me how this lipstick got on your collar?" the, suspicious wife sneered. "No, I can't," the husband replied. "I distinctly remember taking off my shirt"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-25-2006 10:37 AM                        Rated G Maggie The formula for a happy marriage is the same as for living in California: when you find a fault, don't dwell on it.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-26-2006 12:05 PM                        Rated G I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-26-2006 01:06 PM                        Rated G Betsy A certain husband and wife were arguing about an investment the husband wanted to make. In the midst of the argument, he pointed out that men had better judgment than women. "Well, I guess you're right about that," replied the wife. "You asked me to marry you....and then I said yes!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-27-2006 08:20 AM                        Rated G Lulu Sam and Ruth from Maine had just bought a new car when winter hit with all its fury. "I wonder if the car has seat warmers," Ruth wondered. "It sure does," said Sam, looking through the owner's manual. "Here it is...rear defrosters."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-28-2006 05:11 PM                        Rated G Maggie Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-30-2006 03:47 PM                        Rated G At the retreat, Jane and Joe were told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love.' Jane wrote: 'When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and that they respect each other very much, just like Joe and I, it is spiritually and morally acceptable for them to engage in the act of physical sex with one another.' And Joe wrote: 'I love sex.'  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-31-2006 09:46 AM                        Rated G Lulu My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away. When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, and he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath." I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-31-2006 10:06 AM                        Rated G ollie A bellboy recently asked a guest, "Can I carry your bag for you sir?" The guest said, "That's alright. She can walk."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-31-2006 10:40 AM                        Rated G B.B. Frustrated at always being corrected by her husband, my aunt decided the next time it happened, she would have a comeback. That moment finally arrived, and she was ready. "You know," she challenged, "even a broken clock is right once a day." My uncle looked at her and replied, "Twice."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-31-2006 10:49 AM                        Rated G cutie pa2ti Poor George. He's had bad luck with two wives. The first one left him and the second won't.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-31-2006 10:52 AM                        Rated G B.B. American In The Kitchen! If you're American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-02-2006 10:05 AM                        Rated G Quirk My wife thinks I'm too nosy. At least that's what she keeps scribbling in her diary.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-02-2006 02:09 PM                        Rated G A Croatia lumberjack claims he started 'enjoying housework and knitting' after he was given a female kidney. Stjepan Lizacic, 56, from Osijek, is suing his local health authority because he says he's become a laughing stock. He says his life changed from enjoying heavy drinking sessions with pals to preferring housework after the operation. He told local newspaper 24Sata: "The kidney transplant saved my life, but they never warned me about the side effects. "I have developed a strange passion for female jobs like ironing, sewing, washing dishes, sorting clothes in wardrobes and even knitting." He pointed out that before the kidney transplant he would not have been seen dead doing the housework, and expected his wife to do it all, but now found it both relaxing and fulfilling. He said: "My wife is the only one that is pleased. I do most of the housework now, and I blame the hospital that transplanted me the kidney of a 50-year-old woman instead of a man's kidney." His wife Radmila added: "If the new femine side to him is confined to housework I am very happy, I only hope he doesn't start looking at other men."  |  IP: Logged

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