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Author Topic: Kids and Grand Children Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-02-2005 07:56 AM                        Rated G Our 16-year-old daughter, Emily, mentioned that her new boyfriend would pick her up and drive her to one of their activities. From earlier conversations, I had concluded the young man had been driving for a couple of years. Although it was snowy and the roads slippery, I gave my approval. But when Emily told me that he was only 16 and had been driving only a few months, I expressed concern about her safety with someone so young and inexperienced. Never one to miss an opportunity, our 14-year-old grinned. "So does this mean that you only want me to date older men, Dad?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-02-2005 09:45 AM                        Rated G B.B. I recall a time when my son was about 18 months old. I had him strapped in a backpack and was rushing to catch the bus. Apparently I mis-stepped and fell down an entire flight of stairs, (13 to be exact). I was bruised, bleeding and I had torn my jeans ... but my main concern was, naturally, for my child. My fears were alleviated though when from behind me I heard a gleeful giggle followed by, "Again!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-03-2005 07:49 AM                        Rated G Michele Our 13 year old niece spent last night with us. When we dropped her off at home, my sister-in-law asked how she behaved. "She was an angel," I informed her. "Really?" she questioned. "Yes, really. A perfect angel." I assured her, "I just don't understand. Whenever she is with you she is well behaved. Whenever she is at home, she is a monster. She misbehaves for everyone else. In fact, the teachers at her school drew straws to see who would be stuck with her in their class. How come she always behaves for you?" My sister in law asked. "I don't know. I guess I just have a way with children. I also try to educate them as well. A child is never to young to learn." I answered. "What do you mean. What did you teach her?" She inquired. "Well, for instance, children need to learn about death and dying so they better understand this process. I explained this concept very carefully to her." I informed my sister-in-law. "Really? You explained this to her at 13?" She asked dumbfounded. "Well actually she was much younger when I explained this. She now understands death perfectly. Which is good, because it makes threatening her with it, much more effective." [ 02-06-2005, 11:21 AM: Message edited by: Bob Maar ]  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-07-2005 12:05 PM                        Rated G Michele I had given our daughter, who was 15 at the time, a drivers manual. On the way to town one day, I was coaching her as I drove. I told her to be studying her book so as to be ready when it came time to get her driver's permit. "Oh, she said, "I already know everything in the book." "You do?" I returned. "Yep", she said, very smugly. I thought, "OK, I'll give her a hard one." So I asked her, "How many feet does it take to stop the car if you are driving 60 miles an hour and have to slam on the brakes real hard?" "One," she replied. "What?" I asked. "One?!" She repeated her answer and then because of the confused look on my face, she added, "One, Mom. You always told me never to use my left foot on the brakes, only use my right one."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-09-2005 07:59 PM                        Rated G Often when my children were little, one of them would want something that cost too much, and I'd have to say, "Do you see a money tree outside? Money doesn't grow on trees, you know." Years later, on a warm, spring Mother's Day morning, I happened to look out my window and saw a new tree planted right in my yard. I put my glasses on and couldn't believe what I saw. There were dollar bills taped all over the new tree - a hundred of them, in fact. I live up in Michigan's Upper Peninsula, where winters are long and cold and summers are way too short. But every winter now, I look out my window and think about what my children did for me, and I get tears in my eyes - every time. I'm still not sure that money growns on trees. But I know love does. [ 02-11-2005, 12:21 PM: Message edited by: Bob Maar ]  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-11-2005 12:22 PM                        Rated G Because my mother had a habit of losing her cordless phone, I bought her a phone with a clip on it so she could attach it directly to her belt. A few days later, I walked into my mother's home and found her standing in the middle of the living room, halfway dressed. That didn't strike me as odd so much as the fact that she was holding her pants to the side of her head and speaking into them. "Don't look at me that way," she yelled. "The phone started ringing and I couldn't figure out how to undo this stupid clip!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-12-2005 01:36 PM                        Rated G A girl, who was not quite four years old, was alone in the house when the phone rang. She answered it and was told that Mr. Brown was calling. "I'm sorry, no one is here. Can I take a message?" she said. Mr Brown replied, "Certainly." After a pause, Mr. Brown heard, "O.K., I'm ready. Who did you say this is?" "Mr. Brown." "How do you spell Brown?" "B-r-o-w-n." A long pause, and then, "How do you make a B?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-12-2005 01:45 PM                        Rated G Our mom needed a new mattress for her antique bed, so my brother, Josh, and I decided to buy her one as a gift. The problem was we weren't sure what to get, because it was an odd size. Fortunately, my brother happened to be visiting my mother one day when I called home. "Measure the bed frame before you leave," I told him. "I don't have a tape measure." "You can use a dollar bill," I suggested, "each one is six inches long." "Can't," he replied after digging through his wallet, "I only have a ten."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-23-2005 10:16 AM                        Rated G Carolyn With her brown eyes and curly hair, our youngest daughter takes after my husband. At three, she was a lively, mischievous girl, and people often remarked on how cute she was. One day I was standing with her in the supermarket when a woman commented on how cute she was. My smile disappeared when she asked, "Is she really yours?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-24-2005 12:40 PM                        Rated G B.B. Our son was constantly wandering in and out of the house, leaving the front or back door wide open. "Once and for all, will you *PLEASE* close that door!" my exasperated wife pleaded one day. "Were you born in a barn?" "No, I was born in a hospital," he replied, smirking. . . "with automatic doors."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-10-2005 02:26 PM                        Rated G Sally My aunt had assured her friend that her family of six would all eat spaghetti. While the hostess was out of the room, four-year- old Debbie brought her plate from the children's table and announced that she couldn't eat it.My aunt quickly split it between her husband and herself. On their way home, Debbie explained why she hadn't eaten the spaghetti: The dog had been licking it.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-11-2005 01:26 PM                        Rated G On my way to a store in another city with my three young children in the car,I got lost. The children were becoming restless and finally I begged: "Kids, please behave. Isn't it bad enough that I'm lost?" Five-year-old Paul then directed all his attention to helping me find my way. Suddenly his face lit up. "Mom, look, we're not lost. There's a McDonald's!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-16-2005 10:56 AM                        Rated G "What do you have to do to become a doctor?" my six-year-old granddaughter once asked. Her dad, seeing an opportunity, said, "You have to do extremely well in school, take a lot of math and science, get into an excellent college, make the highest grades possible, and then go to med school, and follow that with an internship. Then you can start your own practice. Honey, as smart as you are, you can be anything you want to be." Erin gave all this a moment's thought and then asked, "What do you have to do to be queen?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-18-2005 09:52 AM                        Rated G Lorraine I was feeling a little guilty about the extra hours I was putting in at work. I had, however, convinced myself that no one in the family really noticed, until one morning when my two-year-old watched me put on my coat to leave. "Bye, Mom," she waved cheerily. "Thanks for coming."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-21-2005 10:21 AM                        Rated G My mother gets along very well with my husband. So much so that she often refers to us as "my kids." Very seldom does she use the term son-in-law, and more often than not she takes his side when we have a disagreement. Sometimes I feign insult and suggest that he has taken my place in her heart.But I realized that might not be so farfetched the day she introduced us to a few friends as "my son-in-law and his wife."  |  IP: Logged

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